I’ve been debating for the last few months about writing this post. Mainly because I was hoping that things would change and I wouldn’t need to write it.
Scott and I are struggling with infertility. We’ve been wanting to start our family for quite a while now and it hasn’t gone as we planned. It is the hardest thing I have ever been through and it is the hardest thing we have ever been through together.
While it is hard and often heartbreaking, we have so much to be grateful for. We have each other, amazing families, friends, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that we don’t get to choose our trials in this life and most days I really don’t want this one, but I know I have learned so much already from this trial. I have learned more about patience, faith and hope. Scott and I have become closer and we have drawn closer to our Heavenly Father. Trials are meant to create growth and this one has for us both.
When I started this blog and named it Hunters of Happiness I had no idea what the future would bring, but I knew that we would aim to find happiness in everything and that is what we are trying to do now. I don’t think I’ve ever cried more than I have in the last several months. But while life has been hard, it has also been wonderful. Trials come in life and we can choose to look at the good or let the bad eat away at us.
Over the past few months I have gained so much strength and hope from reading and hearing other couples stories about infertility. I know that this is something that many couples struggle with and I hope that maybe I can help just one person understand that they are not alone.
I know that it will all work out the way it’s supposed to, It’s just difficult when it’s not the way you plan. Patience can be painful 🙂
Over the past months these words by Dieter F Uchdorf have taught me a lot.
“Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious. We can be grateful!
It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.
We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.
This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.
When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?
Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.
This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.”