Infertility
I’ve been debating for the last few months about writing this post. Mainly because I was hoping that things would change and I wouldn’t need to write it.
Scott and I are struggling with infertility. We’ve been wanting to start our family for quite a while now and it hasn’t gone as we planned. It is the hardest thing I have ever been through and it is the hardest thing we have ever been through together.
While it is hard and often heartbreaking, we have so much to be grateful for. We have each other, amazing families, friends, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that we don’t get to choose our trials in this life and most days I really don’t want this one, but I know I have learned so much already from this trial. I have learned more about patience, faith and hope. Scott and I have become closer and we have drawn closer to our Heavenly Father. Trials are meant to create growth and this one has for us both.
When I started this blog and named it Hunters of Happiness I had no idea what the future would bring, but I knew that we would aim to find happiness in everything and that is what we are trying to do now. I don’t think I’ve ever cried more than I have in the last several months. But while life has been hard, it has also been wonderful. Trials come in life and we can choose to look at the good or let the bad eat away at us.
Over the past few months I have gained so much strength and hope from reading and hearing other couples stories about infertility. I know that this is something that many couples struggle with and I hope that maybe I can help just one person understand that they are not alone.
I know that it will all work out the way it’s supposed to, It’s just difficult when it’s not the way you plan. Patience can be painful 🙂
Over the past months these words by Dieter F Uchdorf have taught me a lot.
“Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious. We can be grateful!
It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.
We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.
This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.
When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?
Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.
This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.”
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Keep up the positive attitude and faith. Heavenly Father knows you and your needs. I hope things are looking up for you!
THANK YOU for writing this!!!!I have been always afraid of this.. what if I can't have kids?? What's then?? I think every girl is afraid of this… But then I think that every hard situation has a way out. Like even if me and husband can't have kids, we still can adopt a child. And this thought makes it easier to me.My sister-in-law is now suffering of being unable to have kids… They've been trying for a couple years now… and nothing… So now they have a dog =))))) And she seems so much happier =))))So thank you again for this post and letting people know that they still can be happy together no matter what!!! =)))
Praying for you two!
Thank you for sharing! I hope you know you are truly not alone. God has a glorious plan for you both 🙂
Thanks for sharing!Though our story may be different, my husband and I are also struggling with infertility. I've known since I met him that he wouldn't be able to have kids naturally, so we are starting IVF in January. Though I've known this I still have struggled with understanding WHY this was God's plan for us and why can so many women get pregnant without even wanting or needing children at the moment when we have to go through all of this and wait when we want one so bad. I find peace in knowing that God's timing is perfect. He's got a reason to make us wait. He's still at work in us. Maybe this is what we have to go through for us to become the people that he wants us to be. I just have to step back and let His plan go through and kick my impaitience to the curb. I started a second blog to share our story, here's the url if you're interested in reading it:http://wallacefambygodsgrace.blogspot.com/Praying for you and your husband! <3 <3
Thank you for writing this. I too am struggling and it's hard but President Uchtdorf definitely comforts.
Hi Elise. Thank you so much for writing this as I am sure it is hard. I understand where you are coming from and we are having the same struggle. I just want you to know your not alone. One reason I started my own blog was because I needed away to think about something else and to rem. the fun things in life. If your interested my blog is lovetheresa.com I also wanted to send you my email. Theresacollins4sb@gmail.com If you EVER need to talk please email me.Your not alone. xoxo Have faith. Praying for you.Theresa
I am so sorry for your struggles! What a beautiful attitude you are having about it, though.
My heart aches for your struggle! Thank you for writing such a beautiful post about such a hard and sensitive topic. I wish you and your husband all of the best as you try to add an addition to your family.
love you elise!it's a real struggle that so many people have to go through unfortunately.praying for you two!
I'm so glad you wrote this post! I have been following you for a few months now and really love your blog. I have also struggled to get pregnant, and after 8 months of trying (it really is so heartbreaking, i know exactly how you feel) we finally got pregnant, only to miscarry at 8.5 weeks. i just wrote a blog post on it! i have found that what helps the most is hearing and talking to other people who have similar experiences! You're in my thoughts and I hope things work out for you! Just know that everything happens for a reason. I\”m sure you've heard that a million times, but it's true!here's a link to the post i just wrote on struggling to get pregnant, and my miscarriage:http://www.bloglovin.com/frame?post=3700373879&group=0&frame_type=a&context=undefined&context_ids=undefined&blog=10577475&frame=1&click=0&user=0
It's always good to get it out there! Every time I bring it up on my blog I'm amazed at the response. So many struggle, and it's so hard, particularly as an LDS couple. The good news is you really can find peace and happiness, even if there are some really low moments. Feel free to reach out any time, I have so many friends with endometriosis, I have PCOS, and I've done a lot of treatments. Always happy to help or just listen!
I'm sorry to hear about the struggles, but thankful for the strength you've been able to find from different aspects of your life. I'm sure He has plans of His own and will show the light to guide you there somehow. (:
I'm sorry to hear the struggles. I have learned that God has a plan for everyone. I hope you both will be guided on what to do and it sounds like God has already nudged you in what to do with this struggle to make it more positive. I will pray and hope for you both!
Praying for you two. Im sorry that you have to experience this. Hugs! ♥
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Lately I've been meeting a lot of women who have been struggling with this. Your story is inspiring and as you share it will help other women as well. I'm happy that you were able to find a little bit of peace and sunshine through the gospel. Definitely wish you the best. xo. xo.
I hate that people have to go through this. It is the worst. A couple gals in my ward go down to Utah for IVF treatments. If you ever have to go that route I hear there are some wonderful doctors. Hoping that you don't have to go that route though. You'll be a wonderful mama one day!
As most others are, I'm glad, too, to scroll through my feed and find a post on infertility. Thank you for writing this! I'm so sorry you have to go through something like this. It's one of those things you NEVER thought you'd ever have to deal with. And it's frustrating. I was diagnosed with PCOS a few months ago and every single month we don't conceive is a test of our love, of our faith, of our patience, of our hope. Sending lots of love your way and I'm praying God blesses you with a bundle someday. 🙂
Thanks for writing this post.
this post is beautiful!!!
Elise, your blog could not have come to me at a betree time. This post could be my own. My husband and I left the doctor today with the he clear statement that we are beginning out infertility journey. It was absolutely heartbreaking for me. But I have hope and trust in our Heavenly Father's plan. Thank you for sharing your story. Now I don't feel so alone in my thoughts. <3