In-vitro
During the month of April and May Scott and I went through our first round of in-vitro fertilization or commonly called IVF. This is the most invasive form of infertility treatment. We really didn’t think we’d have to resort to this, but we wholeheartedly believed (as did our doctor) that it would work for us.
In-vitro involves daily injections of hormones into the belly for about two months. Thank goodness Scott was willing to give me the shots each morning, it would have been hard to give the shots to myself. For 1 month it was one shot each day and then for about two weeks it was three shots each day. The daily shots cause the growth of as many eggs as possible, which means crazy enlarged ovaries. I felt like I was already pregnant! My ovaries were each about the size of a bunch of grapes and as uncomfortable as it was I was just so happy. I was willing to do whatever it took and be in any amount of discomfort or pain to bring a baby to our family. After a little over a month of injections I went in for surgery for them to remove all of the eggs I was growing. I was extremely nervous for the surgery because I had never had one before. The anesthesiologist was amazing and the surgery was over before I knew it had begun. The recovery was uncomfortable but nothing too horrible. In the surgery they were able to collect 26 eggs! We were overjoyed!
10 days after the transfer we got the news that we had lost both little babies.
We have never felt such pain in our lives. Both individually and together.
It felt like not only were we grieving the loss of our two little embryos, but also the possibility of future children. We felt like we were losing our future family. This was supposed to work. We were ready with baby announcement ideas, names and nursery furniture. Words can’t really describe the pain. My heart aches for the many other women who have been in this situation.
Each day became less painful and got a little easier.
Even though I wish with all of my heart it would have ended differently, I learned some pretty amazing things from this experience. I learned that I am so much stronger than I thought I was (mainly physically. I’m still working on the emotional part). I learned that people are so wonderful! People were so kind and loving and thoughtful through every step. Friends were selfless and caring. Most of all, I learned that you can still be happy when you’re sad and in pain.
We’re still in the middle of our fight with infertility, it is still really hard, but I have my amazing husband and my perfect little furbaby. We won’t stop fighting for our future family.
I know that one day either through more treatments or through the miracle of adoption we’ll be able to add to our little family. That is the hope I hold on to.
you are so strong! heavenly father definitely has something huge in store for you.xo, kiely
I truly admire you for sharing this! My heart breaks for you and your hubby. I have been struggling with health problems lately and diagnosed with a disease that will most likely cause infertility in my future. But seeing how you and your hubby faithfully deal with this and move forward with hope and trusting in the Lord it inspires me and gives me hope. I wish you both all the best!
Praying that God blesses you two with a little family in whatever way he believes is best for you! Stay strong!
Oh my goodness, I am so so sorry it did not stick and I am praying for you! Thank you for being brave enough to share!xx Kelly Sparkles and Shoes
I'm so sorry for you and your sweet family. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time!! Keep us updated!
Keep trying girly!! We lost our first two embryos too, but now we are expecting 1 healthy baby after ivf round 2! Praying for y'all <3
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Elise, you are so amazing, you and Scott both. I know you're going to be the best parents ever when the time comes, and those are going to be the absolute luckiest kids to have you 🙂 love you both!
Elise, you are so amazing, you and Scott both. I know you're going to be the best parents ever when the time comes, and those are going to be the absolute luckiest kids to have you 🙂 love you both!
I'll pray for you! Thank goodness we have a Father who knows and understands everything. I can't imagine what you're going through but I love you and I know He loves you more!
You are so brave! I know it's definitely not what you want to hear, but God will help you grow your family in his time. Keep smiling through the trials and make the best of it. I hope you guys can shower a child with love soon!
All my love & hugs and kisses ??
All my love & hugs and kisses ??
All my love & hugs and kisses ??
I saw your picture on IG and had to read your story as we just transferred our two 5 day embryos only 2 days ago. I was hoping for a different outcome for you, but appreciate your honesty and willingness to share. Good luck in your future journey.
My heart goes out to you two. I watched my brother and sister in law struggle with infertility. It was the hardest thing for them to go through. They too did the In-Vetro. The first time it didn't work. It was devistating, but with some major patience and prayers they were later blessed with a set of beautiful twin boys. Then when they were ready to try it again, they were blessed with a second set of twins, a boy and girl. Those kids are now 8 and 4 and are such blessings in our family. Heavenly Father knows the desire of your hearts, you will be blessed with your faith in Him. He knows what you are capable of and he knows you wont give up. I hope you can stay strong so those sweet babies can finally join you. xoxo Lauren
My husband and I just read this together. Our hearts go out to you guys!! Sending prayers up for you! Catherine
This was a roller coaster of emotion, it brought me to tears. I'm praying for you that you get the baby God has in mind for you. You are amazing and showing such courage with sharing this, it can't be easy to talk about. <3
I can't imagine what you are going through. You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish the best for your family and hope you will have a new member, soon!
Continue to cling to that hope and the knowledge that God does have a beautiful plan for you and your family. Sending prayers!
I just found your blog and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing what you are going through. Just thinking about your journey (as my husband and I are about to start IVF in the next month), makes me cry and wish that all these hardships infertility creates could be taken away for all of us! I know that waiting and being let down is truly the hardest, but Heavenly Father does not forget us. Praying for you both! My blog on our infertility is fertilefindings.wordpress.com
I just found your blog and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing what you are going through. Just thinking about your journey (as my husband and I are about to start IVF in the next month), makes me cry and wish that all these hardships infertility creates could be taken away for all of us! I know that waiting and being let down is truly the hardest, but Heavenly Father does not forget us. Praying for you both! My blog on our infertility is fertilefindings.wordpress.com
You are amazing! I cannot possibly imagine what you are going through, but I appreciate people like you who are willing to share their stories with others. It helps to see that other people go through trials too and that despite that we can still learn to be strong and positive. Wishing the best for you and your family.
My sister tried to get pregnant and couldn't. They did invitro and then ended up having their next two babies naturally! I don't know what your situation is, but don't give up hope. Things will work out eventually 🙂
I have just come across your post, I often check in to see how you are getting on and I am really very sorry to hear this, you are so brave to have gone through all this. I really do have faith in these things, I have heard so many wonderful stories with amazing results and I am hoping you are one of them, I really am.. Hugs from Irelandxxxx
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I'm so so sorry for your loss. Infertility is so hard because it feels like it's all out of your control. Many of my sisters have struggled with infertility or miscarriages that it makes me a little scared to try. I guess we're really lucky to live in a time where there are so many different options that we can try to create families. I know you'll find something that works for you guys.
My heart hurts to hear you're in this phase of life. I was there for two years, and it just never gets easier. In fact, you find there's less hope and it overshadows the successes you will see as you progress in the fertility journey. I do know God loves us and has a plan for us, and your baby will find you through another treatment, adoption, or just different timing. I have a miracle baby on the way now, and these awful moments only make it all the more sweet when one day you do find some success! Oh and please feel free to cry it out at any given time! It's the loss of a baby that never got to be- and you really should mourn and deal with the emotional struggle. No one wants to see anyone sad, but really, it's okay to indulge in all the feelings and to truly embrace the sadness!