At the beginning of last month we started our second round on In-vitro Fertilization. (you can read about our first round here). Things were very different the second time around. I thought I was prepared for the process, but I’ve learned you’re never fully prepared. The Meds were different, the procedures were different and the emotional struggles were different.
This time around the shots didn’t last as long but I had 4 (sometimes 5) a day. My tummy got pretty bruised and so did my arms from all the blood draws. I didn’t bruise at all last time, so that was new.
After injecting all the drugs for a few weeks my ovaries were the size of softballs filled with all those little eggies. I was so excited for the egg retrieval surgery this time (last time I was so nervous!). They retrieved 29 eggs during the surgery, 17 fertilized and 4 made it to the stage of a blastocyst on day 5.
Charlie is so great at cuddling and keeping me company during bed rest and the 10 day wait to find out if they stuck. We love him so much!
At the end of the 10 days we found out we were pregnant! We were SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY! I was on cloud nine for days. I went to target and looked at baby stuff for fun because before walking by that section had always made me cry. I bought pregnancy books and pinned lots of things on pinterest. We told both of our families and our closest friends.
This was the first of our bump pictures.
We found out only two short weeks after our positive pregnancy test that I was having a miscarriage. It was beyond devastating. We went from such happiness to such sorrow so quickly.
Sometimes I don’t know how much more heartbreak I can take. We loved this little baby so much. We would give ANYTHING (and we literally mean it) to be parents.
Life is SO hard sometimes. All we can do is grieve and mourn this loss, pick ourselves up and move forward. It is so hard to do some days, but we will never stop fighting for our family. We have felt the prayers of so many through this journey and I know I could not go through this struggle without my Savior Jesus Christ.
October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. 1 in 4 women experience infant or pregnancy loss. That is a staggeringly high number. Remember that there are many women out there who go through this struggle silently. So be kind to everyone, know matter their circumstance. You never know what they have been through.